It’s no secret that I’m going to Spain in May. You know what? I cannot bloody wait. Madrid is my first stop thanks to Auston and Dave of Two Bad Tourists offering me a place to crash there. So that’s got me thinking? What do I do in Madrid apart from tutting at Dave’s attempts at cooking and dodging Auston’s tantrums from unsuccessfully connecting to wifi?


After buying my flight with Avios Airmiles, I immediately had a look on what to do in the capital city of Spain. Expectations were high, Sangria glass at the ready, ready to say Te Amo (I love you) to Spanish beauties and setting my body clock to include siestas. That’s my plan.

With the help of Go Madrid, here are my 10 things to do in Madrid.

1. Eating Chocolate Con Churros


Auston realised he got his tongue stuck…

Discovering this in Brazil in Rio, I immediately fell in love. Especially when it’s squirted in with chocolate. I have it on good authority that churro stands populate on each corner so I expect to go very fat, and make inappropriate noises during my stay there. This spanish delicacy is only fried dough. This is all. Amazing how simple things can give the best pleasure!

2. Eat Far too Many Tapas

Tapas Madrid

Following on with the eating theme, it’s Tapas Time! Oh yeah. The Madrilenos always have these delicacies in small bowls and these range from chorizo in cider, octopus from Galicia, cider from Asturias, sherry from Andalusia etc. And not forgetting a massive range of cheeses as we discovered in Spanish Argentina when we found everything was dripping in Cheese. I’m already salivating at the thought. Imagine me like Homer Simpson.

3. Getting Loved Up with Flamenco

Flamenco Madrid

As you know, I love dancing. So going to the main stage of the world’s flamenco dancing has my inner groove and bust shaking moves quivering. Madrid will bring it on with the trouty pouts (Dave can do this), colourful costumes and heels with stilettos to kill (why aren’t I a woman?!) to storm the taverns and bars to whip up a frenzy of dance whilst fluttering their fans. This will enthrall me and I hope to continue with my flamenco dancing career I started in Majorca as a 8-year-old whether the audience wanted it or not. Maybe I shouldn’t wear the stilettos this time.

4. British Laughing at the Spanish Armada at El Museo Naval

spanish armada

‘Don’t mess with this bitch’


God bless Queen Elizabeth I. In 1588, Spain launched an Armada against England in retaliation to the Queen lopping off The Queen of Scotland’s head. It’s all religious. England was Protestant and Spain and the Queen of Scot’s (the heir to Queen Elizabeth’s throne) was Catholic. Fortunately for Queen Elizabeth, the English weather played its hand and sunk most of the ships after Francis Drake successfully fire bombed some ships causing the Armada to scatter. Anyway, this ended Spain’s hopes to dominate Europe.

However, it must be noted that if it wasn’t for Spain’s naval supremacy a couple of centuries earlier, the Old World wouldn’t have discovered the Americas. This pivotal point in history is told in-depth at Madrid’s Naval Museum and it would be fascinating to see the moment when it all went Pete Tong for the Incas, Mayans and Red Indians.

5. Watch some bulls taking up arms

Bullfight Madrid

Is it wrong I want to wear this outfit normally?

Yes, I want to see a Bull fight. In Madrid, during May (when I’ll be there) the annual Bull fighting festival takes place on San Isidro and I’ll be there screaming for guts and gore…of the matador. I don’t want to see animals hurt. Matadors I’ll follow with mirth because if I wanted to do a bull-fight, I would dress aggressively rather than the high-waisted trousers. I’d rather wear running shorts. But again, I think the outfit is cute. I would remarkably handsome in that fetching outfit. Anyway, again it’s of huge cultural and historical significance to Spain as it’s played for centuries. And it’s not bull…

So here are my top 5 things to do in Madrid in May 2013. And I cannot wait, that is if I can drag Auston and Dave out of bed. Hey…a walking tour?

Meanwhile, check out this sweet video I found.



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