Happy Valentine’s Day! Mush Mush Mush!

Have some Rexy Love from me…you know you want to!

So it’s that time of year again to be loved/bitter/hopeful (cross as appropriate) and as I’m still single and always ready to mingle my thoughts turn to my flirting repertoire and whether will be appropriate when I’m on my travels. Those that know me will cringe that I always have a set of chat up lines, whether cheesy or offensive, ready to ensnare the most beautiful girl in the world (Rhianna, it’s not you…come on over Amy Pond).

So, International girls, (waves excitedly), watch out for this bumbling tall dark and handsome sexy man head in your direction, and see whether you’re impressed of these chat up lines and go for British!

Tell me which chat up lines work and get ready to swoon!

1) Feel my shirt…know what that is? It’s boyfriend material!

2) Your dad’s a thief! He stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes..

3) Fancy a raisin? No? How about a date?

4) Excuse me! Did I tell you how much you look like my next girlfriend?

5) I’m new in town, could I have directions to your apartment?

6) I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?

7) If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

8) Shall we talk or shall we continue flirting from a distance? (THIS WORKED!)

9) Do you believe in helping the homeless? If yes, take me home with you

10) I just want to give you the satisfaction of turning me down…go ahead…say no…

11) When they made the alphabet, they should put U and I together…

12) Have you got a plaster? I hurt my knee falling for you…

13) Are you accepting applications for your fan club?

14) I’ve had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better when a pretty girl smiles. So would you smile for me?

15) I would buy you a drink but I’d be jealous of the glass..

16) I’d score you 9.9…you’d be a perfect 10 if you were with me..

17) If you were a laser, you’d be set on ‘stunning!’

18) Well here I am, what were your other 2 wishes?

19) Did you feel my bum? No? Why not?

Did you enjoy them? Do you think I’m ready to face the world with these chat up lines? No? Then tell me what I should do…